I’m probably alone in saying I had a shit time. It’s not that I didn’t have fun - er, well, I didn’t. Not really, anyway. If I did, it doesn’t really stand out because it was mostly boring.
I didn’t take many pictures. All thirty of them are either HEB, the condo or the beach. There are no people. I’m not in any pictures taken by others. I think it’s best that we all pretend I was never there. But that won’t be so hard.
It’s no one’s fault that I felt so horrible the entire time. I just wasn’t really comfortable enough around anyone to assume they would want to hang out with me, so I didn’t really assert myself much.
If you haven’t caught on, I’m a very insecure person, and under the general impression that no one worth knowing really thinks I’m worthwhile. I figured: if anyone really wanted to spend some of their time with me, they’d approach me, or maybe phone me or invite me somewhere. I hate being the one to initiate socialization; it’s just how it is. Don’t take it personally.
I feel very alone, all the time.
On a brighter note, the end of junior year is tangible. It’s freaking me out. I wish I was an ostrich, and I could just bury my head under the sand and feel safe and secure. Or a turtle. That’s why turtles are my favourite animals.