This blog is dead.

Down here in Texas, we don’t encounter much snow. Even though there have been a couple days every year for the past few years, the entire thing is still so new to us.

It started raining this morning, and by noon the puddles were beginning to turn into slush.

Wet socks make me kind of miserable, so I was pretty cranky the rest of the day. Especially when walking to the D building, because of the mini-valley on the sidewalk that always has dirt which invariably becomes mud. It’s difficult to avoid complete submersion of your foot.

I thought about what I would do when I got home, and mentally compiled the following list:

1. Hydroplaning. Undoubtedly a dangerous act…but in some cases it can’t be helped. Might as well enjoy it. Just keep a good grip on the wheel. It’ll be just as fun as it was when you were little, but not in the driver’s seat. Works best when the roads are slushy.
2. Play chicken. Also extremely unsafe. Who can stand outside barefoot the longest?
3. Chill your drinks. Not an unreasonable thing to do…I’ve always found it kind of amusing. Stick a couple of soda cans outside, and after an hour they’re chilled. Don’t forget to wash the top lip of the can before you drink it, though. If it’s going to be this damn cold outside, treat it like the giant freezer that it is.
4. Piss a message in the snow. Not really. But, if you get a sports bottle and fill it with apple juice or something, you may get away with an unrealistically long message. Awe people with your assassin-like aim and remarkably long streams of pee.
5. Walk your dog. Since Texans aren’t well acquainted with the snow, the dogs will enjoy it. It’s also fun to watch them act like idiots, when a particularly large snowflake lands on their butt and they turn around to look for the perpetrator. But since you’re the only other one around, they look at you accusingly until they’re distracted by something that inevitably blows by. Like a leaf or something. Because my dog has the attention span of a hamster with ADD.
6. Put on the kettle and drink tea. Simple, yes, but rewarding. Of course, since you’re just boiling water, you could use it for your Ramen noodles or instant hot cocoa.
7. Cocoon yourself. Pajamas, and a couple comforters, and wrap yourself until you resemble a giant blunt. Your immobility will amuse, and eventually frustrate you, but god damn you’ll be comfortable. After you are finished writhing around, assuming you decide to get some work done, you can easily cocoon yourself sitting down. Just get up when you need to refill your mug with hot water or whatever.
8. Play in the snow. Of course.