Friedrich Nietzsche
I put effort into not being a dreamer. I try to be practical, realistic. But it must be the Human in me.
Although some people insist otherwise, I have a difficult time articulating my thoughts. A lot of the things I say come out vague, and that’s not at all what I want to happen. People do understand, but I always get the feeling that they don’t quite get, to a science, what I mean to say. I’m hard to follow. It is probably because I can’t follow myself.
Sometimes I just want to cry because I can’t explain. I wish everything I have ever wanted to say was just understood. I just don’t know how.
Wishing is doing nothing for me, though, right?
I should just stop talking so much. Like I did after I got out. I was quiet then. I miss that. Why did I start to talk again?
There is still something amiss up there. Should I bother trying to figure out what? Some things aren’t getting better for me.
It’s ironic that my English teachers tell me that I’m a good writer. Yet, what I write for school never comes out as I intend. It’s an accident. It’s supposed to be something different.
Words are useless. It would be easier if I didn’t care about other people. Then I wouldn’t feel the need to say anything. I care too much. I let people take advantage of me, and I know that they do. I just don’t do anything about it.
This entry is brought on because I care for someone (everyone) that I have no right to care for (I don’t even know everyone in the world) and I just want this someone (everyone) to know and understand this thing I don’t know how to explain. I’m so frustrated. I could cry. But I’m not going to, because it won’t do anything for me.
I haven’t finished the “two whore week” entry. I don’t know how to make you feel and think the way I did during all the points in those two weeks. Not by words, anyway. Christie, for that I apologize. But it will be done.
I hate quoting other people, and songs. It doesn’t come from me, so it doesn’t mean anything when I quote it. But, as a last resort, sometimes it has to be done.
François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
aha! so i figured out how to comment. for some reason it wont let me just click on the box but if i click a little here a little there tab tab i get to where i need to be.
a lot of times i feel like i have to reply back to something but im too stupid to even think of anything…hahaha. its a lot easier being thoughtless. ok..sorry if that was stupid and i shouldnt have even said that. ehhh i dont know
no worries about the whore entry. seriously…ive been reliving that day in my head over and over ever since it happened. yeah…im quite a loser
I would say “ditto,” but that seems crude and rude on my part, with or without the C. [I just realized that I have to tab up to my name..ew...but that's okay, really. I shouldn't have said ew. poo on me.] I wish I was hard x core about a band like you. Then I’d go to their hard x core concerts like you. And be a hard x core … personfanthing like you. Bill doesn’t count because he’s secretly my lover, and the [American] world shall not ever learn of him, so sadly I doubt he’s every coming anywhere near my residence.
Wishing does nothing.
oh oh have you ever had heart. I had heart today. It’s oddly chewy. If I say it’s of a chicken, that takes the fun out of it, but there I go: twas a chicken heart. It made me happy like pwoof.
I vowed a long time ago to never say the word “honestly” because I believe it to be the cotton ball of drones with nothing else to hope for. So if I were such a drone, I’d say, “I honestly hope that you are well.”
It is a mere: I hope you are well. [without the "honestly," but with every intention of the latter]
hang in or hang out there.
whichever you choose